I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
