he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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