I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
