so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We got so high we made milksteak
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
