I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
worst night to have a conscience
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
