Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
