So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
