Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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