i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
