i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
