Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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