Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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