so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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