oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize