Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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