hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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