she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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