He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
