This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
