I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
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On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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