I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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