me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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