when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
