So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
