i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize