Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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