Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.