is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....