dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just high enough for therapy.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital