He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We're too hungover to prance.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?