You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.