His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize