she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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