Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
