areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
