Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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