God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
