shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like