Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

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  (805): In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career http://tfl.nu/rhke
  Replies (18) Good night (4615) Bad night (598)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.

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  (610): he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted. http://tfl.nu/laiq
  Replies (34) Good night (6547) Bad night (667)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'

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  (920): you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!' http://tfl.nu/st5y
  Replies (23) Good night (3210) Bad night (3967)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (83) Good night (34195) Bad night (1539)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one

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  (803): just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one http://tfl.nu/7c6m
  Replies (12) Good night (3997) Bad night (1503)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.

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  (410): I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you. http://tfl.nu/qo8n
  Replies (24) Good night (4101) Bad night (1245)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?

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  (717): Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast? http://tfl.nu/62uv
  Replies (16) Good night (1693) Bad night (724)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"

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  (952): Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?" http://tfl.nu/w3wv
  Replies (12) Good night (2605) Bad night (604)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?

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  (615): She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable? http://tfl.nu/4ysm
  Replies (7) Good night (660) Bad night (1162)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed

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  (215): If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed http://tfl.nu/cmm2
  Replies (16) Good night (818) Bad night (1487)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.

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  (215): I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that. http://tfl.nu/2qs0
  Replies (1) Good night (1323) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?

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  (414): Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it? http://tfl.nu/mo75
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (+86): View more from China

  Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

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  (+86): Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs. http://tfl.nu/vpgv
  Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (326)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?

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  (770): Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right? http://tfl.nu/rafd
  Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (290)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have suspicion of morning wood.

  (281): View more from Texas

  How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?

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  (832): I have suspicion of morning wood. (281): How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis? http://tfl.nu/x95m
  Replies (4) Good night (730) Bad night (270)

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