and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
