we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳