dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
