You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.