i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
