we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
