I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
