i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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