The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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