there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
