She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
