we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he fucked my hip out of place.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
