We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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