i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize