You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
