I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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