I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I supernannyed him into submission
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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