people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
