dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
