chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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