all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
