Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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