it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am naked and annoyed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
