M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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