Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
