Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
