apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
