my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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