Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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