It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
