You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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